Zensless Fashion

Five Ways A Dress Makes You Look Fat

Zensless — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 01:55:33 +0000

Dresses are supposed to be the most flattering and feminine thing a woman can wear, but sometimes a dress can add more than ten pounds of percieved weight simply by being unflattering.

Here’s how.

Pink Havana Leather Fringe Necklace

Zensless — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 03:15:03 +0000

Who doesn’t love the idea of a nice pink necklace? I really can’t think of anyone at this point in time, apart from perhaps Vladimir Putin, who would judo chop a pink necklace into a million pieces before you got it anywhere near him. He is ruthless to enemies and jewelry alike.

Three Pretty Pink Dresses

Zensless — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 22:02:03 +0000

I’m messing around with a new project at the moment called ‘All The Pink Dresses‘. Basically, I’m going to review or at least mention all the pink dresses. In the world. Because I feel that is realistic.

Anyway, here are the first three pink dresses.

I chose the Eryn Stripe Dress by Lilly Pulitzer as the alpha pink dress because of its vintage styling and the fact that you’ll be terrified to wear it anywhere that hasn’t been professionally cleaned by surgical teams. That’s because it is pretty and shiny and made from Organza. You don’t see a great deal of traditional Organza these days, mostly because ever since we discovered synthetics, convincing silk moths to breed and then stealing the resultant pupae and boiling them alive has just seemed a wee bit tedious.

The Gold Trim Drape Maxi Dress from Bebe is a Maxi Dress in pink with snakeskin patterns on it. This looks like something Julia Roberts would have worn as Richard Gere redeemed her from a life of sin by throwing money at her until she was finally socially acceptable enough to shop in high end stores, if Pretty Woman had been filmed in 2011 and not sometime in the 80′s or something like that.

I was drawn to this dress the moment I laid eyes upon its name. It was a name filled with such burgeoning pretension that I knew the dress attached to it would have to be something very special indeed. I was not wrong. The L’Wren Scott Pivoine Jaquard Dress is a bustier dress, which means that underclothing will not be necessary when wearing this dress. Indeed, underclothing will probably only get in your way.

Patrizia Pepe’s Pink High Heel Boots

Zensless — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 21:43:51 +0000

These boots are high heeled. These boots are pink. These boots are snake skin. These boots have completed the trifecta of OMG amazing without having to do anything other than sit there. They could be so uncomfortable that wearing them feels like stepping into a bear trap every time and they would still be more excellent than 99.9% of other shoes out there on the market.

Fine Ladies Frilly Blouses

Zensless — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 02:26:38 +0000

There’s nothing like a good frilly blouse to lift your spirits, that’s what I always say. Frills are feminine. Frills are fun. Frills can even be functional, if your life often features some sort of common occurrence in which extra fabric is useful. Perhaps you’re a paramedic, or a freelance serviette.

You and Your Shirt Dress

Zensless — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 22:18:09 +0000

It’s a shirt! It’s a dress! It’s a shirt dress! Back in the good old days, when it was still acceptable for a woman to regard a vacuum cleaner as a long lost family member, it wouldn’t have been acceptable for there to have been any confusion between shirt and dress states. Indeed, anyone who wore a piece of attire that blurred the line between shirt and dress would have been ostracized as a person of poor moral fiber.

Frilly Pink Hair Bows

Zensless — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 07:50:00 +0000

Who doesn’t love a good frilly pink bow? Why it makes even the most dastardly and daring dictatorial Prime Minister look thoroughly approachable. In this very important piece, I shall be reviewing various styles and types of frilly pink bows, that you might make your frilly pink hair bow choices with utter certainty.

Kate Middleton Wears ‘Black’ To A Wedding, Fashion Implodes

Zensless — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 03:02:48 +0000

Kate Middleton recently attended a wedding wearing clothing that absorbed too much light, thus upsetting every serious fashion blogger in the Milky Way, and when I say ‘every fashion blogger in the Milky Way,’ I of course mean, the Daily Mail, which pretty much makes this entire article as important as a small piece of Gruyere.

Source

Ballerina Flats Declared Cutest Shoes Ever

Zensless — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 21:48:10 +0000

Combining traditional femininity with actual comfort, ballerina flats are the unsung heroes of the women’s shoe world. They don’t get nearly enough credit for what they do. Fortunately for the ballerina flat and women the world over, it’s looking as if they will very much be making one of those vengeful fashion comebacks this year, although their vengeance will probably be limited to making your feet feel really, really good.

FreshMax Sweat Hiding Men’s Shirts

Zensless — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 21:10:25 +0000

It’s unfortunate that men, who often wear crisp business shirts so often go through their days looking and feeling anything but crisp and fresh. All it can take is a brisk walk in the sun, a long meeting in a room with substandard air conditioning or simply being alive for eight hours for a man to end up with significant dark sweat marks under his arms and across his back.